I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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