You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
