Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
