I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize