nut hugger
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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