It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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