i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Everyone says I win the strip club
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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