I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
