plz talk dirty to me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
