i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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