alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
