Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
