Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm too high and old for this...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
