Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize