So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
