Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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