I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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