I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
