one might say we're banned from that church
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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