I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Let's paint friendship bongs
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
