True but thats because hes a fetus.
I CAN MOONWALK!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
