Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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