How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
