A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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