Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
