she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize