You made me cry and you don't even care
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
