She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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