Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
