i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
