Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
