Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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