I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize