Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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