My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
