i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
