I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
