dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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