I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
