entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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