When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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