Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
soo... how was my night?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
