You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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