I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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