If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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