Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i wish my penis had a tongue
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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