I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
