don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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