her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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