Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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