Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize