i permit you to call me
I can tuck mytits in my pants
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
