You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Is Oprah even human
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
