I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think I won the penis lottery.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
