She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
