2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
