I got chris browned last night
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
