I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
