Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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