come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
