Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Randomize
