It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
