He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
